I frequently do not have the energy to go out, but I usually have the energy to have company. I love having visitors. It really helps me feel normal. There are just special precautions I need to take until I am in what is called NED — No Evidence of Disease. Thank you for understanding.
We know from our own experience of visiting friends with cancer that as the visitor, you’re often not sure about things you should/shouldn’t do, what you should/shouldn’t bring, and so forth.
While there are some things that are probably going to be true for everyone with cancer (especially if they’re actively receiving treatment), other things are going to vary from person to person.
But to start off, please arrange your visit with us ahead of time. Don’t just show up. I love visitors, but I sleep a lot, so I may not be awake. Or we may have gone out, or gone to an appointment.
And, of course, be very healthy!
Oh, and if you want a fast response about visiting, you’re a lot better off contacting Amanda instead of me. 🙂
Once we’ve worked out a visit time, Amanda will go over some stuff about visiting with you privately in email. These things may change from week to week, depending on how I’m doing.
Please know that if we cancel on you, even if it happens more than once, it’s not about you. I really do want to see you. I want Amanda to be able to have visitors. As I’ve said, it really helps us feel normal, and getting to see my friends and family helps me feel good. But if I cancel, please know it’s that I am suddenly not feeling well. And it usually comes on suddenly, and I have no control over it. Or, we may have suddenly been scheduled for an appointment we weren’t expecting.
Doctor Appointments, Transfusions, Surgeries/Procedures, Tests:
Doctor appointments are just for me and Amanda. On a case by case basis, we may be okay with you hanging out in the waiting room with us, but please ask first.
Transfusions are usually okay times for company, because I am just sitting there for 2-3 hours. But, again, please ask. If Amanda texts you to let you know where we are and for how long, she’s letting you know it’s okay to come by. If you see what’s going on via FB or CaringBridge, please ask, don’t just show up. Also, if the transfusion center is really busy, they may or may not let anyone else but Amanda come back with me. (The Cancer Center, for example, only allows 1 person back while I’m receiving chemo. The transfusion center is at the hospital, and seems a little more flexible on visitors. But I don’t know if that’s because there’s not usually as many people there when we’ve gone.)
Surgeries/Procedures/Tests: Depending on what’s going on, how long it’s going to be, how risky it is going to be . . . Amanda may welcome having someone keep her company while she’s waiting for me to be taken to Recovery. But she may not. Please ask her first if she’d like you to be there with her. I know she really, really, really appreciated company when I had my initial tumor surgery! But she was fine waiting while I had my 2 thoracentesis procedures. A little nervous/anxious, but it was all done pretty fast.