January 26, 2019 – Don’t Tell Widows to “Be Strong”

Stop telling me to be strong. How many times do I have to say I have nothing left? She was my whole world, my soulmate. Living without her is like trying to live without air. 💔

My own grief compounded by knowing how sad and hurt she was that barely any of her childhood friends and family ever visited, even before she was really sick – or sick at all. She wanted to know people cared, that they wanted to include her, while she was *still alive*. She told me this over and over. 😭

Note: This is generally good advice for any widows or widowers you may know in your life. I’ve been in online grief groups, I’ve read blogs by widows. We’re not strong; we’re barely holding on, we’re masking; we go home and once out of the public eye, we shatter into a million pieces. It doesn’t feel like strength. It doesn’t make us feel good to be ‘complimented’ about how strong we are. If someone tells you what you said is hurtful, just stop saying it. You don’t get to tell them it’s a compliment and they should just suck it up and accept it. Don’t make their life harder in an already impossible time! (And, heck, this is just good manners; if you tell someone anything and they say that’s hurtful, just stop doing it. They don’t owe you an explanation on why, you don’t have to agree, you just have to stop doing/saying it.)

Can You Die From a Broken Heart?: https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-palliative-care-blog/2018/february/14/can-you-die-from-a-broken-heart/

The answer is yes. It’s often called Broken Heart Syndrome, and let me tell you, I’d have welcomed it. There are times that I still would.

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