Grief Posts

Remembering Teresa

After talking with a dear friend of Teresa’s (and of mine too – I’m so glad we will stay in touch) back in June, I was reminded that not all of you have Facebook. I posted on FB the night of Teresa’s death, and I have been posting updates on my grief on the 23rd of each month since.

I have been thanked for publicly sharing my grief, for not just saying I miss her, but in really describing the depths of it – at least, as much as I feel safe doing. Did you know that if you post something on FB that someone reports as a suicide risk (or something triggers FB’s algorithms for that) you risk having your FB account disabled, cutting you off from what may be your only support network?

So while, no, I am not planning to do anything, my grief is unending, heart-wrenching, deep, black, despair, which makes me physically ill, and often incapable of eating. But I do not dare post that on FB and risk possibly losing my account — and thus access to Teresa’s, and all of our shared memories.

Anyhow, in realizing many people were not seeing my monthly posts, which have also included photos, song lyrics, links to songs I’ve recorded, and so forth, I’ve decided to copy and paste them here too. I will be backdating the posts so that they will be linked to the date I actually posted them. If you signed up for notifications for new posts — be aware that backdated posts may not trigger that alert notification of a new post.

I will also include a link to each of them here, at the end of this post, and they will be searchable by date; they will just not show as a “new” post nor will they be on the front page of the blog. The exceptions will be going forward with current posts of the 23rd of each month, starting with September 23.

If you are on Facebook and haven’t seen the posts, it is because I’ve only been sharing them on my own wall, and then tagging Teresa, so that her friends that I’m not friends with can see them, but I haven’t posted them to the Remembering Teresa group. If you would like to join that, you can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/remembering.teresa/. Please be sure you answer all the new member questions or your request to join will be declined. This is to prevent trolls from joining just to harass grieving people (it definitely happens). I know a lot of the names of T’s friends/family, but not everyone, and my memory is still super scattered right now, so . . .


As many of you know, while I got the house in July, I fully moved back to Roanoke (from Abingdon) in September. I was already in the process of packing when I held T’s Celebration of Life though, so many things were boxed up, and things were everywhere. I will also be sharing photos from her Celebration of Life on this site; so far they’ve only been on Facebook. But there are photos that haven’t been seen even if you’re on FB, as we displayed many photos of her life before I knew her, and those still need to be scanned in (rather than my just photographing the photos, which tends to result in glare/reflections, and difficult to see images). That is a slow process, but I’ll get them up eventually!

If you find a broken link, or that anything is linked to the wrong date, please let me know specifics so I can fix it! Thx!


  • January 23, 2019
    • January 25, 2019 (At the funeral home; confirming it is Teresa.)
    • January 25, 2019 (Which ribbon do you use for T’s cancer?)
    • January 26, 2019 (Don’t tell widows to “be strong” or that they’re “so strong”.)
    • January 27, 2019 (Limited Diet/Appetite)
    • January 28, 2019 (Thoughts on Memorial Service I wasn’t Invited to; Teresa’s feelings on people who said they were friends but never made any contact at all, taken from recordings she made before she was admitted to the hospital; privately published. Ask and ye might receive. )
    • January 30, 2019 (One week…; has link to our wedding video.)
  • February 23, 2019
  • March 2019
  • April 2019
  • May 23, 2019
  • June 2019
    • June 5, 2019 (This would have been our 6th wedding anniversary.)
    • June 8, 2019 (Teresa’s Celebration of Life) Will publish after I have all the photos ready to go. Will announce so it won’t be overlooked.
    • June 12, 2019 (This would have been Teresa’s 51st birthday.)
    • June 23, 2019
  • July 23, 2019
  • August 23, 2019
  • September 23, 2019
  • October 2019
    • October 2, 2019 (My first birthday without Teresa, since I’ve known her.)
    • October 23, 2019
  • November 23, 2019
  • December 2019
    • December 22, 2019 (Yule – the winter holiday we celebrated)
    • December 23, 2019
  • January 2020
    • Obituary (I’ve decided to work to have it ready to go on the first anniversary of her death; this way, if someone later is looking for it, it will at least be in print in the correct month, if not the correct year. I will publish it in Virginia and NY, as is traditionally done, to cover a person’s home and hometown. It will also be published on this site. SUNY Oswego has been told, and they will receive a copy as well.)
    • January 23, 2020

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